Lessons To Learn
by kandykisseshearts
Summary: Shawn's made a terrible mistake. Is it too late to make amends or will he get a second chance?
1. Prologue

**Lessons to Learn**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. If I did the series would have never ended

Shawn sat down in the empty apartment drying his eyes with an old towel. The material felt like sandpaper as he rubbed it against his eyeballs. It stung painfully. He stared into the depths of the mirror.

Shawn looked dreadful. His eyes were red and sore with black circles stretching underneath them. His dark hair fell lankly down my shoulders. His body was fading away into baggy clothes that were two sizes too big. Shawn's breath had misted the mirror up. he wiped it with his hand leaving fingerprints on the reflective glass.

Faces fickered. Turner. His mum. Angela. His dad.

He raised his hand to the reflection.

SMASH!

Shards of glass shattered all around. They fell to the floor ensnaring my bare feet on the cold tiled floor.

Shawn looked down at his knuckles. They were bleeding slightly. he turned the tap on and rinsed it under the cool water.

He paused. He picked up one of the shards.

He drew it along his wrist.

There was a sense of pleasure at staring at his own blood.

He kept cutting unaware he had nicked his femoral artery.

In six minutes Shawn would be dead.


	2. Rod

The first thing Shawn registered was how white everything seemed. The endless bright void of nothingness caused him to squint a little.

"Hello Shawn"

He whirled round and saw a man standing behind him. He had silver grey hair upon his head and chin. As well as, black skin that had been beaten by age and yet gave off a timeless aura. He was dressed in a suit and tie that seemed matched the room but with perhaps an even brighter glow.

"Are you….Are you God?" Shawn stammered "No, actually, I'm his messenger and cousin, Rod. Although I got this position on my own merits"

The man shot Shawn a rather accusatory and somewhat irate look. It was as if he were daring Shawn to argue with him.

"Too bad I've a couple things I'd like to say to the big guy" he chuckled without mirth.

"I don't doubt it" Rod pursed his lips. "So Rod can you tell me where I am" he asked with a touch of humour.

The man paused thoughtfully.

"I suppose you could say we are between worlds. We like to call this the transition phase"

Shawn's felt numb. He almost wanted to laugh. The day had finally come. Fate was done torturing him. It was all over. He would not cry. He could not cry. Hunter's never cried.

"I'm dead aren't I?" he said bitterly "Not quite" the man smiled

"Not quite?" he frowned

"That's the reason I'm here. I think it's time someone talked to you about that chip on your shoulder"

Shawn nearly exploded at these words. How dare this guy, Rod, or whatever the hell he called himself, tell him that he had a chip on his shoulder.

"Just shut up! You don't know anything about me or my life"

Shawn turned away from the man.

"Your name is Shawn Patrick Hunter. Son of Chet and Virna Hunter. Half brothers of Jack and Eddie Hunter. Step brother of Stacey Anderson. Ex-boyfriend of Angela Moore. You were born in Ohio. Graduated from John Adams High and later attended Pennbrook University. Your father was always going on the road to chase after your mother, while you were bounced around between relatives, the Matthews and even your old English teacher, Mr Turner. You speak four different languages. You love ice-skating and poetry, although are somewhat shy about the latter. You like the TV show NYPD Blue and the band Counting Crows. You enjoy playing the tough guy but its only another way to stop people from having the power to hurt you. How am I doing?"

Shawn didn't answer for a minute.

"Ok, I guess" he shrugged

"Really? I was sure you'd call me out on the most important detail"

Shawn frowned.

"Never mind. The point is that it is interesting how even the oddest of circumstances can bring people together but of course, in the same way they can tear people apart." The man sighed.

The mention of tearing people apart caused something like bile to rise within him. He couldn't believe that the man had the audacity to mention it. This was on fate not him.

"Yeah well you've been tearing people away from me my entire life! From the day I was born my own mother didn't even want me! The woman I thought was my mother abandoned me countless times forcing my father to leave me so I could play-make-believe! The only teacher who ever cared about me disappeared! The only girl I've ever loved left me for a country. The one time my father actually might have stayed was the time you killed him!"

The man waited until Shawn's yelling had ceased.

"Europe is a continent not a country" he said finally

"What does it matter?! Angela's gone. They've all gone!...Why did you take them from me?" Shawn's voice shook

"So you could learn."


	3. Explanation

This was the last thing Shawn ever expected to hear.

"God saw the way your biological mother left and knew that you would be someone who would need to learn about love. Your father and mother left so you could fully appreciate what you had. As for Mr Turner, God put him into the picture so you could learn to find some meaning in the world of education. After all, he was not the only teacher to care? Mr Feeny? Your _stodgy old_ teacher who pretty much taught you every year, even in college, but more than that always had something new for you to learn" the man raised his eyebrows

"Which is what you're trying to do now?" Shawn challenged

"I'm afraid I'm just the messenger, but I suppose yes. That is the basic idea" the man mused

"What about Angela?"

The man gave him a testy look.

"Other people's prayers were taken into consideration. Angela had taught you the feeling that being in love gave you. It was felt that it was also another way of teaching you something both of you needed to learn and give her a chance to have a relationship with her father…..as a great human once said _If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never wer_e."

"Did Mr Feeny say that" Shawn said sceptically

"No but does sound like something he would say doesn't it" Rod laughed

There was a pause.

"So does this mean Angela will come back?" he asked hopefully

"I think she would have"

Would have? Shawn winced. He wasn't completely stupid. He knew what the man was alluding to. Now that he was in this position he would never know if there was ever any hope for him and Angela.

"Why did you take my dad? He was going to stay" he whispered

"Chet was finally at peace with himself. He got to see that both his sons were doing alright and to hear everything you ever wanted to say to him. He also gave you a chance to bond with Jack. Only this time you didn't have your father to force this relationship on you. You had to make the choice".

Shawn supposed that was a harsh but fair assessment. His dad would have forced a relationship with Jack on him and that probably would have caused Shawn to pull away further.

"So you took everyone else away so I could have a relationship with Jack?" he quirked an eyebrow

"No! That is not what happened!" Rod raised his voice for the first time

"Fine Jack and Mr Feeny" Shawn rolled his eyes

"No! You have overlooked the most important thing!" The man seethed

"And what would that be?!" Shawn bellowed

"Cory Matthews!"


	4. Flashback

_It all started when they about eight. It was his third day at school. It was never easy being the new kid but at the prospect of a field trip to the zoo he hadn't thought it would be too bad. He caught sight of a dorky looking kid and freaky girl running around with some others. Cory and Topanga, then age 8, with others came running and passed Shawn on their way_

_"Hey! Wanna have lunch with me?" he called as the dorky looking kid was about to pass him. _

_"I don't think I should. Those guys say you live in the trailer park and I shouldn't like you"._

_With that he left. Even a kid like that didn't want to be his friend. He didn't get what the big deal about living in a trailer was. It might not be as nice as some of the houses the other kids lived in but it wasn't so bad._

_"Oh, well, if you wanna have lunch with me, I'll be right here"._

_He called after the boy but he was already gone. It was with frustration and bitterness that he returned to his lunch alone. Alone was what he did best._

_It was then he heard the voice._

_"Help! Help!"_

_He looked up and saw everyone else running away from the llama pit, save the freaky looking girl. He didn't know if they had all gone looking for a teacher but he wasn't sure how long that would take. He sprinted around the corner, climbed into the llama side and helped the boy up. Then, together, they climbed over the fence._

_"Hey, thanks for pulling me over the llama fence. You're fun. My name is Cory" the boy said gratefully. _

_"I'm Shawn"._

_They shook hands._

_Not one to be left out on the side lines the freaky girl spoke up._

_"Hi, I'm Topanga" she introduced herself. _

_"The wife. I'm sorry I didn't have lunch with you. My friends were wrong. They're not even my friends" Cory admitted _

_"I'll be your friend"._

_A few more words were exchanged and with that the pact was made._

_"Friends forever?" Cory asked hopefully _

_"Forever"._

_They moved in for a hug._

_"Stop it. You're boys!" Topanga interjected from behind._

"There's something I think you should see and it the reason I was sent"


	5. Cory's Prayer

Shawn found himself standing in a hospital room staring at himself lying unconscious on a hospital. His eyes flickered to beside the bed and was surprised by what he saw.

Cory was sitting beside the bed with raw eyes and clutching the hand of the Shawn lying on the bed. It reminded Shawn uncomfortably of when Mr Turner had crashed his bike and when his father had died.

"God,

Listen, I've kind of got something to say before everyone else gets here. I've never really asked you for much but please just let him live. Until now I could never imagine how much it hurt Shawn to see the people he loves leave him. I've never lost anyone before but please don't let me start with Shawn.

Everything good inside of me I've learnt from him. He made me take risks and appreciate all I have. He is the only person who's stuck by me no matter what. He gave me the confidence to live my life. He taught me to like someone for who they are and not where they come from. What it means to be a friend. The kind of friend who saves you from the llama pen".

Shawn put his hand over Cory's, tears pricked his eyes.

"It'll be ok, Cor. I promise" he whispered "Time to go Shawn"


	6. The Choice

"Go?" Shawn stared at the man wide eyed and squeezed Cory's hand tighter "He's already hurting" the man stated "Then why am I here? This is bullshit! You can't…" he screamed

Anger. That's all he felt.

Anger at the man for bringing him here. Anger at being so stupid to get into this situation. Anger at the fact that Cory was hurting. Anger at being unable to comfort him. Anger at being the reason Cory was hurting. Anger at being so helpless…

"That's enough Shawn, if you listen calmly, then maybe I'll answer your question as to why you're here"

That was enough to shut him up. He clenched his jaw trying with everything he had to keep his anger under wraps for just a little longer. He had been so focused on what he'd lost that he hadn't even thought about what he was leaving behind.

"This was never meant to be your time Shawn. Just like you had to learn some things, so did Cory. God, gave you each other. He gave you someone who would never let you push them away. Someone to live for"

A chord of hope struck Shawn.

"What does this mean for me?" he gulped "Guess that's up to you" the man answered "I have a choice?" he asked warily "Yes. If you still believe everything's hopeless then you can come with me" he held out his hand "If I don't?" he challenged "Then this is goodbye from me."

He stared at Shawn patiently.

"I think I'll stick around. See if life's got any more surprises" he smiled "They won't always be nice surprises" the man warned "I know but I've got Cory, right? You're not messing with my head on that?" Shawn asked cautiously "No I'm not messing with your head. I trust you've learnt something from all of this?" he enquired "And I didn't even have to open a book" Shawn grinned "You're a good kid, I hope I don't have to come back" Rod clapped him on the back "Nah, you're good" he stared at Cory "Then you'll have to excuse me I have someone joining me for a card game in a bit" he smirked "Who the devil?" Shawn asked sarcastically "No actually his cousin, Neville" Rod corrected "Nice seeing you, Rod" he laughed "Goodbye Shawn"

One wave and the man was gone.


	7. Awake

Everything hurt. Just turning over took great strength as he realised just how drained he was. He forced open his eyes.

"Co…ry" he wheezed

"Shawn!" his best friend exclaimed

"Hey buddy" he managed a weak smile.

"Shawn you had me worried sick! I was afraid you were gonna die" Cory looked ready to burst into tears all over again

"No. I learnt my lesson" Shawn coughed "Well that's great Shawn, because you're going to have a long time to think about it"

He knew that voice.

"Mr Turner?" Shawn gasped in a mix of pain and shock

"That's right. Do you know just how much you scared every one. If I wasn't so worried right now, I'd give you a year's worth of detentions"

He stared open mouthed.

It was then he caught sight of a doctor with a very familiar face. He gave Shawn a small wink before leaving the room.

Thanks Rod!

"Jonathon's right. You should consider yourself very lucky Mr Hunter" Mr Feeny approached him

"I do" he mumbled

"Are you gonna be ok?"

As Mrs Matthews spoke Shawn's eyes spun around the room as he saw the entirety of the Matthew's clan standing there.

"Yeah, I think I will be" Shawn said softly

"Good because the next I'm in the hospital it'll better be because I'm having a baby"

Topanga put her hand on, a now very pale, Cory Matthew's shoulder.

"Come on guys, Shawn could probably do with some rest" Mr Matthews said,

"Actually dad, I'm going to stay with Shawn just bit longer"

Mr Matthews nodded his ascent.


	8. Lessons Learnt

"Why?" Cory whispered as soon as everyone had left

"How did I get here?" Shawn ignored the question

He caught Cory's expression and a guilty hunch on what the answer would be.

"I found you. You were lying on the floor dying. If I hadn't gone over there to tell you Turner was back, you'd be dead Shawn. DEAD! There was blood everywhere and for the longest hour of my life I thought I'd lost you"

Damn it! Of all the people who could've found him it had to be Cory.

"Where was Turner anyway?" he asked

"Trying to track down YOUR mother!...He said it seemed like something that was important to you"

Which one, my biological mother or the one who pretended to love me? Did it matter? What was Turner doing looking for her anyway? Shawn had never asked him too.

"I'm sorry Cor" was all he could muster.

"Why Shawn, can ya just tell me that?"

Shawn supposed Cory had a right to know the truth. The difficulty was now that he'd had his brush with death it seemed so stupid. As if he didn't understand the reason for it anymore, which he he guessed was the idea. However, he had to try for Cory's sake.

"All I could think about was how people leaving. I guess I stopped appreciating the people who stayed" Shawn said pensively

"And now?" Cory pressed intensely

"I wanna be one of the people who stays" he decided

"And you couldn't have figured this out without cutting your wrists?" Cory said angrily

"No. I had a lesson to learn but I think I'm gonna be ok now" he smiled

"Maybe in the future you can let me know when you're feeling like that. Just because Topanga and I are married doesn't mean I don't still care" he said gently

"I know that Cor"

There was an awkward pause.

"I rang Angela but I guess she was busy or something" Cory said uncomfortably

"I've been thinking: If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were" he remembered

"Wow, Shawn that actually sounds really impressive. Where did you hear that?" Cory looked shocked

"Apparently, some really smart guy said it" he shrugged

"Mr Feeny?" Cory sighed looking for confirmation.

Shawn debated on Cory's reaction when he told him the truth.

"Yeah, Cor, Mr Feeny".


	9. Epilogue

"I told you he'd pull through" Rod stared at the cards in front of him

"Yeah, yeah, alright, you win this round"

A man identical to Rod in almost every feature sat opposite him. The one difference was the suit instead of being brilliant white it was a dark black.

"Kids like him just need to be reminded that there are people who love them" Rod smiled

"Is that why the English Teacher's back in the picture" his partner sneered

"Parting gift" Rod excused

"Tch. Bets on whether he and Cory make it into heaven?" the man smirked

"Oh you are so on Neville!"

**A/N:**

**I don't think this is my best work but I figured that writing it all down was the only way to get it out of my head.**

**Also I'm not Christian but using God and the Devil was the only way I could get the joke about their cousins. Which was inspired by Teen Angel. **

**The scene of when they were kids was taken from the episode 'It's Not You….It's Me' (where they are said to be 8yrs old). As I was writing it I realised it contradicted what was said in 'City Slackers' when Feeny says that Shawn was in and out of 5 schools before he was 12. **

**Anyway hope you enjoyed it **

**Please Review**


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